Questioning

To be obsessed with something or someone usually ends up in hurt and resentment

My obsession is dangerous

Dangerous as if an evil spirit comes into my body and soul one night

Chain me to the bed and holds a bondage of me

My obsession becomes a possession

I am sometimes possessed by this one thing that I cannot get it out of my mind

Going into endless spiral of thoughts, not knowing when and where it would land

Or stop

Or continue going… I feel like a child who goes on a silent tantrum

My vocal chord is not producing any external scream or noise

But instead it ties into a knot

Just like my thoughts break free into this shattered pieces of fragile glass

Sharp and hurtful from the inside

I wish to never be obsessed with anything else other than myself

I’d rather be detached and protect myself from these evil spirits rather than taking risks and letting them flow freely in me

Even a priest from the synagogue is not enough to stop these spiraling thoughts

One might say overthinking

But I’m not sure if that’s true

Or am I just denying because I’m too scared to face reality

That I can be broken too

And I am not as strong as I thought